noun, verb, tra·chled, tra·chling. Scot.
This will be my 4th marathon, and oddly, training for this marathon has been the most challenging of all. My time was so slow this past Sunday, if I were to do that same pace come Marathon day, I would be among the very last finishers. There came a point on Sunday when I thought to myself that I should just back out. I shouldn't do the Portland Marathon this year. In fact, there were several points along those 24 miles when I thought to myself that there is no possible way I could do the marathon this year and I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I was going to opt out.
That sort of psych-out and mental battle is all part of training for a marathon. You have to go to war against yourself in training sessions so that come race day, you know you will cross that finish line no matter how loudly your brain tries to convince you otherwise. Part of the mental war of training is so that you can go into the marathon having been beaten down a few times during training and knowing that you didn't give up! The battles you fight during training will give you confidence knowing that you can pick yourself back up and drag your own self across that finish line!
Eventually, I made peace with myself. I'm still going to do the Portland Marathon. I will cross that start line and I will cross that finish line! I will feel no shame or regret if my time is significantly slower this year as long as I can look back on the race and feel that I had given it my all (mentally, physically, or both) at every mile of the race. It is going to be quite the trachle to cross that finish line - but I'm determined to make it happen!